Friday, September 25, 2009

Mob bosses, Babniki, and Kitty Litter

Briullov, Jude, and I went to see Nevesta liuboi tsenoi ["A Fiancee by Any Means" is the way Moscow Times translates it; I would've said "A Fiancee at Any Cost"]. It is roughly the equivalent of...I guess The Hangover is a good estimate. The opening scene is a rainy courtyard. The main character, Stas, played by Pavel Volia, says "Hello" into the camera before an arm [our collective arm, Doom-style] socks him in the eye. He stumbles to the ground. Bodyguards haul him to his feet. The sequence jumps: he's calling out, "My bride! My love! It's your Stas! I've come, as we promised...won't you come out and meet me?"

The person who punched Stas is cocking a pistol back. He starts towards Stas, raises the gun to his forehead, and Stas breaks the fourth wall to address us and take us back in time four days ago.

Turns out he, Stas, is a babnik (do you remember this ROD?) and takes his job very seriously. Long story short, he has sex with almost every woman he sees, including the girlfriend of the mob boss he's trying to get to buy shares in his kitty litter company. Which is how he ends up on the business end of the pistol. The premise of the film, and the reason why he's shouting in the courtyard; to create an alibi for himself, he tries to seduce every woman in the same apartment building, so he can prove to the mob boss that it was to her he had gone, not to the girlfiend.

A farce, in any case. I'm not going to try to interpret it in terms of kulturovedenie (have you noticed that new feature?) because it's not worth it.

My favorite part was that when he "thinks," Stas either consults pictures of himself, or a cat statue he has on his desk. I think this is a habit I want to start emulating. It is, at the very least, finally a reason to start collecting tchotkes.


fetish - fetish. With the same two meanings: 1) a sexual eccentricity; 2) a magical amulet of some kind. Like Stas's cat statue. I want the latter.


Jess Cote said...

For some reason I feel responsible - as if I should have seen this coming, this idea of conversing with Amulet!Black Cat. Maybe the few times that you were CONVINCED you had heard...someone...talking to you. Might have been a clue. But I will NOT hold myself responsible for your mental health. Too scary. :p

Andrew said...

Shut it. And no, no one should hold themselves responsible for the mental health; but according to Foucault, nor should anyone be diagnosed as sane/insane until after the creation of l'oeuvre. To castigate an "insane" person is to rob them of the opportunity to become l'artist. *nods sagely*

The cat told me that.