Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Maybe He Can Projectile Vomit?

I’m sorry for being so behind the times, but I just barely listened to the Sandbox podcast from August 11 a day or two ago (remember how I was stockpiling them all summer so I wouldn’t miss them while I’m here). Apparently, as well, I didn’t listen to NEARLY enough radio this summer, because otherwise how did I miss…

T-Pain’s Miami Dolphin Fight Song.

Wow. Wow wow wow. I cannot think of a worse song, right now, to use. So bad, yet so hysterical.
Hey, hey, let’s go!
Miami has the Dolphins
The greatest football team
We take the ball from goal to goal
Like no one’s ever seen
We’re in the air, we’re on the ground
We’re always in control
And when you say ‘Miami,’
You’re talking Superbowl.
Miami Dolphins, Miami Dolphins, Miami Dolphins #1!
I’d transcribe the rest of the song; it has had me in hysterics – but I am reminded of horror movies. Just as one should not read out loud in Latin from a strange book if one is not fluent in Latin, transcribing the entirety of this song would call forth at least one of the riders of the apocalypse.

Maybe that’s being mean. But really – if a little group of pee-wee cheerleaders wrote this song, it’d be puke-worthy but cute. Since T-Payne’s written this song...I don’t even know what to call it. Disturbing isn’t the right word, but like the girl in The Exorcist, T-Payne has somehow found out all about me, and has just pronounced the most disturbing thing I could hear.

In honor of T-Payne, I now officially start a new feature (which has been going on in the background for quite a while): “Being Moscow’s Musical Worst” (BMMW. It sounds funny, but I get to riff on the company. Worth it.)

Here’s to you, Mr. Miami Dolphin Fight Song, the first official participant in Being Moscow’s Musical Worst!


Kogda govorish’ “Miami,” rech’ idyot o Superbowlye.

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