Where are the bears on unicycles?

I was told there would be bears on unicycles. Lies. All lies. I also must tell you that The Professor and his family were very tickled/offended by some comic they saw that depicted Moscow as Red Square, the Kremlin, and then forest. Remember, Moscow is a big city; a city of economic activity, crazy people, architectural fashion statements, and prostitutes. (That last is a lie, I didn't pay her anything.)

We went to Red Square! But there were no bears on unicycles.

Compulsory picture of St. Basil's (Russ: Pokrovsky sobor or Khram Vasiliia Blazhennogo)

And then we took pictures of ourselves! Thanks to Madame de Pompadour for the first set (they really are only awesome when we view them like comics panels). Look closely: guest appearance by The Mullet!

Then Madame came out from behind my camera. I honestly have no idea what caught Briullov's attention, or what we were saying to each other in the first set, but there you go.

Caption contest? The winner gets...something.

Click on any picture to expand.