This blog has no title, just words and a tune

I find myself reminding you, readers dear, that you know me. This is why you read the blog. (I hope. I don’t have blog statistics up, though, so welcome, as well, to our random reader from Kansas City! I hope you enjoy your stay. You, in case you forgot, don’t know me.)

Those of you who do might recall that I am a klutz. Absolutely clumsy butterfinger (and not the candy kind) walking catastrophe. I try to avoid it, I really do. Sometimes I even can – in the wintry and unsalted icy Moscow streets I’ve only fallen twice! Hurray!

Here’s the story. The other night I’m finishing the presentation on American suburbia and I have my headphones in because the Colonial Invaders™ have gone to bed and I am a nice person. And/or subdued jungleman. I’m not sure which. I drop my pen, and due to an unfortunate choice on my own part to try to rescue said pen, my computer crashes onto the floor.

Miraculously, it does not break (despite being an ancient Dell). Unfortunately, my headphone jack breaks off into the speaker! What’s more – in the process of trying to “fix” things, I end up jamming the female part of the speaker jack all the way into the computer’s core.

Cue a frantic copying of every important document I might have updated onto my external hard drive, convinced as I am that the sound card is connected to the mother board and the mother board’s connected to the COMPUTER IS GOING TO DIE NOW AHHHH (board).

Scene change: The next morning. I warily boot up the computer and find that it is working nicely. Hurray! I put the last touches on the presentation and enter bureaucracy hell™ (a different story entirely).

Scene change: That night. I return home and realize that the external speakers don’t work. This is nothing new. I wonder if I can rescue the jack from the interior of the beast like God looking upon…um…is it Josiah in the whale? – and oh! What a man can’t do with good Fortune smiling upon him and a pen cap. The jack is rescued!

But still no sound.

I then take the male end of the microphone half of my Skype set and jiggle it around in said jack. Suddenly – sound! I am invincible!

But now I can’t move my computer or I have to go through the whole process again.