Would you like some meat to go with your meat?

After being told I was un-American for staying up for the Superbowl (even though I did end up pulling an all-nighter at the Starlite, just for a different occasion), I was determined to prove myself to be a man.

So Jude, his roommate, and I went to Macho Grill, a Brazilian steakhouse that's recently opened and that offers an eat-until-you-can-no-longer-walk meat buffet for 750 rubles (just about $25).

I should have realized the futility of trying to reestablish my virility by participating in a meat-eating contest.

Now, I'm not saying I don't have a healthy appetite - put me in an Oreo-eating competition and I know I beat everyone out for the championship. Back when Wer lived with multiple Wers of the same name, I remember attempting the world-record most-double-stuf-oreo-creme-at-once -- 6 cremes between two cookies - which was a failure - but which I ate nonetheless. I also remember eating an entire packet of Galinda's oreo cookies in the span of two Arrested Development episodes...

All's I'm saying is I have a sweet tooth.

But in the three hours that we sat at Macho Grill, even with the (much needed) breaks we got between skewers upon skewers of lamb and beef and chicken and fish brought out, and even with the (much appreciated) entertainment the Cuban band and (drunken) Russian men dancing provided, there was no way I could keep up with the others. I flipped my card over to the red side and they kept eating another three or four courses.

Oh well. The waiter still sliced a couple of the caramelized pineapple wedges onto my plate, ignoring the "stop" card in front of me. I didn't complain.