Yesterday. The cafe. I work the espresso machine when The Wrathful Poetess comes in. I try to restrain myself - the customer comes first - but a grin splits my cheeks. She gives me a hug.
Later, and I had described my housing situation. She says, "Oh."
She says, "I suppose you could always crash on someone's couch."
I ask, eyebrow raised, "Maybe in someone's bed?"
She pauses. She laughs. "Yes, I'm sure someone would let you into their bed."
Later, I ask how long she and Man-at-Arms have been going out (seven weeks). She says, "You just came back too late."
She says, "We met through an online dating service."
She says, "The girls and I were just talking about how big your dick must be. One of us was going to scoop you."
Later, she finds the necklace I put in her tip cup. "Thank you," she says. "I love big things."
My eyebrows should just stay raised forever and ever, amen. I say, "It's just a gift. Gift qua gift."
She asks, "No ulterior motive?"
No. It's not a hair comb. It's not a pocket watch.
8 months ago