Sunday, October 4, 2009

An "Open Letter"

Dear Mr.-and-Mrs.-Copyright-Infringement-Person-Dude,

I understand your job, and I empathize with the task that you have in front of you, trying to tame the wild internet-jungle and all of the myriad forces that are gathered against you, primarily in the guise of youtube users.

However, I would like to thank you for failing to find all of the songs from Muse’s new album on youtube before I had a chance to listen to them. I love them. It’s weird and, in keeping with my general theme, most dichotomous, because I feel mildly mollified, maybe molested, more musically-modified my-my-my more monotonous mmmmm-well-fed; that is, without alliteration, I feel less frantic about purchasing it. Simultaneously, I know now that I need (see how it’s moved on to the ‘n’ sound? Yes. So did I.) to buy the album, so in fact, the presence of these copyright infringements are actually going to inspire me to buy this album. As soon as it comes out of defitsit.

Jude: “Why don’t you just buy it on iTunes?”

It is a fair question. It has three answers.
1. I am a tactile learner at times, and buying shiny objects is, I have recently discovered, one of those times.
2. See below for my discussion on my external hard drive. I’ve always been a bit leery about the prospect that all of my documents-photographs-music-life exists primarily in digital form, and that neurosis has only been strengthened in recent days.
3. Ever since an ancient friend (ancient in the time we’ve known each other, not in how old he is himself – subjective, not objective, let’s remember), Jamie Lynn, inexplicably became blocked on my facebook while I was in Piter and using the Interweb-cafes for my doings, I’ve had a paranoiac-psychotic-anti-establishment fear of sending any kind of information over the Russian global village interface. Really, I should only be scared of using coffee shops, but irrationality is irrational. Who knew.
What’s more, listening to these songs is exciting because, for once, I am enjoying them on the first go-round. Usually it takes much longer for music to grow on me. The Killer’s Sam’s Town took three years. I remember when I first started listening to Muse – thanks, I don’t remember now, to Aynristotle, or to Paddles, or to Wer, or to the Brit – and kept them because I enjoyed the odd song out. And now they are the favoriteses.

It would appear that The Resistance is soon to join the ranks of their previous albums. From what I’ve heard already, it is full of fantastic 80’s throwbacks. Something like
I want to reconcile the violence in your heart
I want to recognize your beauty’s not just a mask
I want to exorcise the demons from your past
I want to satisfy the undisclosed desires in your heart
could very well be an alternate version of a Madonna sonata, and I’m pretty sure I can hear Freddie Mercury singing background vocals to “United States of Eurasia.” “Brilliant,” in the words of another British cultural icon.

So, to reiterate: Merci, Mr. and Mrs. CIPD. With loff, whalesong, and an emo-single-feather from a waterlogged wing,

Available, for a short time only, shaken, not stirred. That’ll be $3.50.

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